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honey915

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So recently I posted a very negative and fed up post about how I couldn't see anything ever improving. Lately my anxiety has been dreadful. Debbie said to me, I need to dig deeper to find it why work is such an issue compared with recreational stuff. I usually only work two shifts per week because it's all I can handle anxiety wise and I have lots of kids so need to be off really and want to be there to raise them. This week I feel I finally got to the route of all my actual issues. I used to think the anxiety was 'free floating' and just happening for no reason. I couldn't work out why I would randomly have it in weird places like, all day at work, meetings at work the worst, running meetings etc and cafes, shops sometimes, occasionally at home when the other half is there, out for dinner, movies etc. I had training this week all week everyday at work. I did five days on the trot and every day was anxiety hell. I've finally realisd. I feel trapped. Like agoropgobia claustrophobic trapped in places I feel I can't leave easily without making a scene. I don't care so much what people think it's more what of I can't get out and that induces an attack. So I face every single thing. I have the face everything bit nailed. I avoid nothing. But I'm still doing something wrong. I'm not accepting fully (only half heartedly, but trying to accept fully and cowering at the last minute then beating myself up for not seeing it through the whole way), I'm good at floating through it I just don't always remember that when the thoughts are telling me I'm about to have an attack and once I flee the situation once I'll keep having them and they'll take over my whole life. I've never really understood the full cycle and reasoning behind my anxiety. It makes total sense. Now however I have to implement the next three stages, accept, float, let time pass or in Jeff's way throw yourself into the fire 100% and see it through. Any advice for pushing through it? That last little niggle of doubt always ruins full acceptance and I end up nesting myself up. This miring at work I almost had an attack because I realised I was very anxious and said to myself so what have an attack. So what just see it through. It can't kill you hurt you etc but my head says it can harm you though. It can destroy your life and happiness. It already is! I just don't want it to get worse. I'm thinking it loud here but trying to make further sense of the breakthrough I feel I've had and I really want to build upon it and not carry on in my old habits.
bredell

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Glad to read this! Acceptance can't work if done only half way which is why you stay in an anxious state all the time while at work! So you get this now so now it's time to put it into practice! You said you fear not being able to flee a situation this is exactly what you need to face! When you feel anxious dare the feelings to do their worst tell the panic to get you and make you crazy in front of all your co workers! It won't ever happen Honey it's a lie it's what anxiety wants you to believe! Anxiety lives on what you tell it. So going towards it instead of running away from it is what will make it stop. This takes practice but it's the way out! Honey think about all the panic attacks you've had. Did anyone notice? Do you freak out? Probably not.. Years ago when I had panic attacks I had many in front of my friends and years later when I asked them if they ever noticed not one of them ever knew I was having a panic attack and they were actually shocked that I was having them and didn't notice! Hang on to this new found faith you found and keep plunging ahead it's time to take your life back!
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debby jones
honey915

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bredell
Glad to read this! Acceptance can't work if done only half way which is why you stay in an anxious state all the time while at work! So you get this now so now it's time to put it into practice! You said you fear not being able to flee a situation this is exactly what you need to face! When you feel anxious dare the feelings to do their worst tell the panic to get you and make you crazy in front of all your co workers! It won't ever happen Honey it's a lie it's what anxiety wants you to believe! Anxiety lives on what you tell it. So going towards it instead of running away from it is what will make it stop. This takes practice but it's the way out! Honey think about all the panic attacks you've had. Did anyone notice? Do you freak out? Probably not.. Years ago when I had panic attacks I had many in front of my friends and years later when I asked them if they ever noticed not one of them ever knew I was having a panic attack and they were actually shocked that I was having them and didn't notice! Hang on to this new found faith you found and keep plunging ahead it's time to take your life back!


Thank you for the advice. I am at work now and feeling it build up. I am going to do just that right now! I'm going to date it to do its worst to me. RightNow. No you're right noone ever notices I just feel it takes such alot of strength to prevent people noticing. When my mind is screaming get out and my rational mind is saying no stay put leaving will make it worse!
bredell

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Reply with quote  #4 
Good for you! Keep us posted!
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debby jones
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