Just popped back on the board and I feel for all the folks going through their various issues and looking for a way out. Sometimes a different perspective helps and hoping that’s the case with my commentary. My long story short, went through it all for decades. I mean all of it. What did I do for decades? I am positive many on this board are doing the same things. I was searching. I was looking. I wanted “the answer”. I wanted to “get rid of IT”.
Did I find the answer after searching for decades? No. If we tabulated the collective years that people have been suffering on this board, I bet we would easily have 1,000+ plus years of experience. Anyone find the answer?
My point? I never believed the solution. What changed? I believed.
Start right here. Start now. I am sensitized and there is nothing wrong with me. Believe that. What is wrong with us? Nothing. We are smart, caring, creative and we have incredible imaginations to name a few attributes. We think too much. We are too smart. Since we think so much we think the solution can’t be simple. It has to be complicated because this feels so complicated. So the answer has to be complicated. Right? I have to find the answer. I have to figure this out. I need to make this stop. Guess what is happening at this point in time? You have entered the vicious spinning cycle that only gets worse with more “thinking your way out”. What we think that we need to do to get out – fight it, think about it all the time, try to figure it out, develop rituals, run away from things, etc. – is all wrong!
What is the solution? It really is the same message from all the anxiety gurus out there – they just have their own spin (no pun intended) on it.
Acceptance = allowing = ignore it = do nothing = live life = let it kill you = let it do it’s worse to you = etc.. Why do you do these things?
To prove to yourself…that you are safe, that you are not in danger and that nothing can happen to you. It truly is all a ruse. Nothing ever happens.
What worked for me?
Very very important. This is not a mantra. It’s not making statements to myself. No rituals. That puts pressure on yourself. It is living with the following attitude: Don’t give it energy! It can’t hurt me. Face everything to show myself that it’s all harmless. And did I mention don’t give it any more energy? Why do I say that? Because that is what “IT” is. “It” is the time spent on it. “It” exists with all the energy we spend on it. We make the whole fake world up in our minds and we stay in there through constant analysis. Leave! Try it. Just leave that pretend world. I’ve been there. I know it feels very real. “IT’ is not real.
Make this your world: Don’t feed it. Ignore it. Get on with life. It can’t hurt me. Whatever. Leave it. Get present. Worry accomplishes nothing. I am safe. Get back to what I am doing. Get on with your activities. Face everything! Pick one of these concepts, create one of your own and then make recovery your own.
Attitude retrains your brain. It really is that simple. If you think differently, then you will continue to be stuck. I can absolutely guarantee that. The difficulty is not in the concept. The difficulty is in the implementation, constant follow through and belief. I wish someone would have pounded these messages into me years ago.
Anxiety really is a verb. If you focus on it, it will continue to exist and grow. Don’t give it energy.