Lan92
Hi,

I usually steer clear of forums because I can tend to obsess and usually they aren’t good for me but I’m at a bit of a low ebb at the moment and wanted some advice.

I’ve been on my recovery journey for a bit now and I just don’t know if I’m doing the right things. I go about my day to day life as normally as possible when sensitised, I don’t react to my thought (usually) and I go out and do things the ‘normal way’

I’ve had periods over the last 6 months or so where I’ve felt good. The anxiety is still there in the background but I’ve still been able to enjoy my life, progress well within my job, my hobbies and spending time with family. I’ve even been able to buy a house and feel excitement about it rather than anxiety!

I’ve also had fleeting moments of feeling ‘back to normal’ these are fleeting though and only probably last about 20 mins?

My recovery has looked like this so far, able to live life normally but still feel sensitised, setback where my anxiety is awful and through the roof, then goes back to able to live normally but still sensitised.

I will say however the setbacks are not lasting as long. I had one this weekend which has only really properly lasted 2 days.

My question would be, is this what recovery looks like? Is it this really long slog? I’m feeling really down at the moment because it just feels like it’s never ending, like I’ll never truly recovery. Just going to spend my life in this cycle of living my life whilst feeling sensitised, a period of bad anxiety, then going back to feeling ok but sensitised still. It’s been nearly 2 years now where I’ve been in this recovery phase of setback, feeling about 80% there, then setback to feeling at rock bottom.

Is there anything else I can do to get over the final hurdle to complete recovery?
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jeff
Yes it can be a slog. But you speak of anxiety as a thing doing this to you. Anxiety is worrying with a sensitized nervous system thrown in. Nothing more. It’s not insanity. It’s not a disease. It’s worrying. When will you be completely recovered from worrying? Never. When will you lose the associated nervous reaction to your worrying? That’s the slog. Whatever you can do to resolve your worrying will lead you away from nervous sensitization to a normal reaction to your worrying. When there is no obvious resolution then acceptance without analyzing your worrying goes a long way away from the sensitization that you despise - as you could see through your glimpses.
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Lan92
Thanks Jeff.

It’s like I finally understand it all now, and when my nervous system over reacts to situations, I don’t add second fear because I honestly do understand it all.

Is it a case of now just waiting for my nervous system to settle back down and desensitise? I feel as though it’s been two years now and it’s still not settled down, I’m still getting the extreme reaction to certain triggers and situations.

I presumed that over time the reactions would get less and less until they gradually simmered away. The reactions are still as significant and come with the same force. My attitude towards it has changed because I’m open and allowing with the feelings and to be honest, it’s ok when they are here, I just continue with my day and feel a little uncomfortable, it’s just hard because I feel like no progress has been made to actual recovery.
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jeff
Are you taking any medications? What is actual recovery for you? Do you have any conflicts in your life that bother you? Other than your nervous sensitization are you generally a content person! How does your nervous sensitization manifest itself physically?
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Lan92
No medications at all - don’t really think they help.

Recovery to me is experiencing anxiety and worry in proportion to the threat that I am facing. I.e feeling panicky before a job interview or when I’m doing something really frightening. At the moment I get out of control and panicky anxious feelings over absolutely everything, even the idea of going to my parents for a meal, seeing my friends, watching my favourite tv shows. Etc. My big trigger is my partner being ill. If he’s ill or feeling a bit rubbish or even has a drink my anxiety spirals out of control. I never used to feel anxiety in these situations. I used to have a fantastic social life etc. Recovery is also being able to go about my daily life without feeling the awful sinking feeling which is constantly there.

Generally I’m a really content person, up until now I’ve led a very content and regular life, grown up normally, went to university, I’m a primary school teacher so usually my life is pretty happy and simple, until I became sensitised.

Physical manifestations of anixety are dizziness, light-headedness, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, shaky feeling.

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jeff
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My big trigger is my partner being ill. If he’s ill or feeling a bit rubbish or even has a drink my anxiety spirals out of control.


Do you have any reasons for this? Fear of losing your companion? Do you think that your reaction to loss of control and panicky anxious feelings is still one of worrying about these being something else...something you need to find a reason for to gain control over? Would you describe yourself as needing to be in control most or all of the time (as seen by your worrying about your partner)? What was the circumstances of when you first experienced anxiety and/or panic? I am just probing logical reasons for nervous sensitization to still be active based on my own experiences. If you wish to continue this conversation in private messaging that's OK for me. But that would exclude others from adding their comments and experiences. Your call.

And I always ask about this very common, long lasting physical problem associated with long term sensitization: Could you have gastritis? How are you with foods like coffee, citrus juices, wine, carbonated drinks including beer, hard alcohol, fatty foods? Do they always agree with you?
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Lan92
Hi Jeff,

I’ll private message my reply :)
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