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hello! So around 5 months ago I smoked some cannabis (not uncommon), had a pretty big panic attack and have been experiencing depersonalization ever since, which I’ve seen isn’t uncommon. At first it seemed more episodic and things felt visually unreal like I was high/drunk but I wasn’t. It definitely affected my ability to socialize. As time went on it shifted into a more constant state of things feeling strange and unreal. It feels like I’m living in a space between spaces, my own dimension, everything feels strange and everyday it feels like someone dropped me off on this planet in the night like everything is new and hyperreal....I know I experienced It the day before but it doesn’t feel like it. I’m able to go out and do normal day stuff for the most part even in this state and have moments when I’m with people that I’m distracted and feel way more down to earth but then I’m alone. Feeling like a stranger to myself and reality. This also comes with crazy existential thinking, and extreme overwhelm....like all sensory input is overwhelming and existing is overwhelming. Its like I only exist in the present moment but I’m not present at all, like everything not in front of my is numbed out. I also feel weirdly empty...very hard to describe. It’s got my anxiety through this roof which I know Makes it worse. I am Constantly thinning about it, analyzing it, and panicking over it. I dont Know how to not. I’ll also say that I have Lyme, POTS, adrenal fatigue, and mycotoxin illness (I’m sure trauma too from medical stuff) and had been staying in a place with mold right before this happened, and with pots my autonomic system is already jacked. It’s so strange how much it has morphed into this strange inhuman feeling, but it’s white terrifying and any advice would help because it really feels it’ll never go away. Idk how I can Feel normal when I dont Rember what normal feels like and I’ve seen “past the veil”. Could there’s be a correlation with autonomic Dysfunction/adrenal fatigue? I know mold and Lyme can cause this as well as anxiety.
love and light ✨
hi, depersonalisation is something I know about.... its very subjective and hard to describe, its not as easy as saying my heart rate is up etc, but I know the unreality thing is hard.... first and foremost I would say don't smoke pot, just in case that isn't obvious. some people it just doesn't work for... (I'm one of them)
your first step is to realise that depersonalisation isn't harmful, it can't kill you, you havent gone anywhere, it feels much much bigger than it really is, reality hasn't gone anywhere and neither have you, regardless of what people say on certain forums, its not an illness, and it will go away on its own....
if I had to go through it again, the main advice to myself would be this..... STOP worrying about the depersonalisation... it is a by product of anxiety and that is all, a brain that is tired of high anxiety or panic, it moves you into a protection mechanism that is supposed to keep you safe.... the best thing to do is actively ignore the symptoms, so basically carry on with everyday life as if everything is ok, don't analyse the thoughts, when they are there and they are strong, just let them happen, but carrying on wth your day will lower your underlining anxiety that is running underneath your depersonalisation. when this lowers, your brain no longer needs to attach this safety mechanism we call depersonalisation. its really simple, but I know from experience it seems to easy, but it really is..... again, stop the worry of the symptoms and also stop trying to find yourself, you havent gone anywhere.....all that is happening essentially is your brain is filtering out all what we would call the good bits in life, it is only limiting you to protect you, you stop noticing smells, what people are saying, the taste of your lovely breakfast etc..... if you actively try to purposely smell things, notice things, listen to what people are saying when they are talking to you, this will also take it away, your brain will know that you are not in trouble if you are taking your time to do these things, an animal in trouble doesn't, smell a flower, taste its dinner etc..... does this make sense.... very quickly, mindfulness also helps if you would like to look that up
DP/DR its basically brain frog accompanied with target-specific stress to the visual nerves.
In other words, it can be created from any traumatic event (or weed, which its extremely common, the most common form of getting it I think, because weed makes it really easy, you need to be very paranoid.panicky and have some OCD thoughts, which a bad trip of weed can perfectly make for you).
But, it will stay stay indefinitely as long as you fear it. Take it like this, your brain gets inflamed when you worry about it, it sends stress to specific nerves that alters visual perception. stress creates inflammation to the area, and thus, it creates the weird visual effect. so as you see, it feeds itself from your anxiety towards it and your worry, and since it is an inflammation, it takes some time before it goes.
DP/DR its basically a manifestation of excessive worryness. If you can be anxious free from DP/DR, it will disappear in a week. and if it comes back, as long as you don't react to it and you get on with your life, it will disappear in a day to even hours.
Practicing not caring and acceptance, that's the key for DP/DR :=)
You Can Do This~
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