Hosscat
Hello, it's been awhile. I thought I had moved past the scary thoughts about solipsism and if everything is real. I was doing very well for about two years, the thought would occasionally pop up, but I would brush it off as not important. It felt like a miracle that I got better after how long I had it last time....

I hate how with the anxiety the thought feels true. I don't want to fall back in that hole I was in for so long before 🙁

Done alot of crying today, and trying to just sit with the anxiety. I tell myself whether the thought is true or not there is nothing I can do about it anyway....
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Jonmike
Like any intrusive thinking it's only a scary thought if it scares you, someone else might have thever same thought as you but not react to the thought as you have done, therefore it's never the thoughts that are the problem. How can it be? When you get any intrusive thoughts, solipism/reality (am i in the matrix) kind of style thinking.... just let the feeling wash over you, but don't react. Let it happen. If you dont push them away they will pass as any other fleeting thought will pass.... people have weird/strange thoughts everyday but because the reaction isn't there it bares know importance so it doesn't stick as important. Let all unwanted thoughts happen!! It's never the thoughts.... how could it be? If thoughts were the problem the whole world would be anxious.....
Thoughts - emotion - behaviour.
This is the 3 that keep a cycle going. 
Break one of them and the cycle stops.
You can't stop unwanted intrusive thinking but you can stop the emotion and the behaviour that you attach to them. 
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Hosscat
I feel like emotional wise I react without my control though.... Im not using logic or refuting it, I learned that doesn't work. So, should I just kinda 'fake' like everything is fine, even if inside I feel horrible and these thoughts are nagging away all the time?
Also... is it normal when in the anxiety even thoughts such as these feel true?
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Jonmike
Ye you will get the emotion, in this case it's possibly a feeling of impending doom, dread, fear, sick to your stomach feeling.... this is what you don't react too. Let it all just pass through you, don't anticipate it coming back, it's your fear of a thought that means absolutely nothing at all that is recurring. This is a cycle. When it happens whether it be a thought or a feeling, let it happen and don't hold on to it. It's hard but certainly not impossible..... whatever the thought let it happen. You can't stop thoughts especially unwanted thoughts.
Try not to think of a red balloon and guess what. It's that but with thoughts that provoke a fear response. It's nonsense!! 
Recognise the cycle and it's easily broken 
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Hosscat
Thank you. Will that break the feeling of how likely the fear is too? That feeling like your brain is screaming at you it's true?
Ugh, I'm well aware why it's absurd,so it's frustrating having those feelings trying to convince me otherwise.
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Jonmike
It just won't matter.... you can have any big thought you like.... it's not the thought. I used to have endless thoughts about the universe, time, existence.. all of which used to make me feel crazy. Eventually the feeling will stop but you need to recognise that a thought or a feeling cannot harm you 
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Hosscat
You're right. But im scared i'll believe it wholly eventually and that would be 'the point of no return' so to speak. I know what you mean though, in the few years I was better it might still pop in, but it wouldn't stay.

Right now when im putting up with the anxiety and thoughts, when they hammer really hard its been making me cry, and then I feel like I failed not reacting to them 🙁
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Jonmike
Just don't be so hard on yourself about it. And stick with the plan 👍
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Hosscat
Ok. I'm trying to stay busy, it's hard.
Is it normal though they feel so true? 
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Jonmike
Does it matter?  Does it change anything to your life?..... it's completely irrelevant. If all your strange thoughts were true. So what? yes keep busy, don't shut the door on thoughts as they just stack up, keep the door open and let them be there. Let them pass through 
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Hosscat
Well, I don't want to believe it. It changes how life feels in a way... Like i've lost everybody somehow.
I don't know, I feel insane really.
If I really leave it alone, will that get better?
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Jonmike
If you just accept everything that comes your way as a temporary passing thing. It just won't matter. It isn't that you believe nonsense intrusive thinking it's how they make you feel. They provoke fear and that's what you are fearing. You are fearing fear. Essentially that's all anxiety disorders are really. A fear of your own fears. For example.... some people fear spiders so much that just thinking about them invokes fear.. but not everyone. Myself included. So how can the thought be the problem. Let everything just be whatever it wants to be. Eventually it will pass
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Hosscat
I feel like a little kid wanting to ask 'promise'?
It doesn't matter how long its been, there is always hope for recovery?

Trying to get a better handle on it today, at least act like everything is ok. It does wear me down though, as the anxiety is at a constant level all day, and the thought is there all the time, not popping in and out.
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Vin
Hosscat wrote:
Hello, it's been awhile. I thought I had moved past the scary thoughts about solipsism and if everything is real. I was doing very well for about two years, the thought would occasionally pop up, but I would brush it off as not important. It felt like a miracle that I got better after how long I had it last time....

I hate how with the anxiety the thought feels true. I don't want to fall back in that hole I was in for so long before 🙁

Done alot of crying today, and trying to just sit with the anxiety. I tell myself whether the thought is true or not there is nothing I can do about it anyway....

Its Not the thought bothering you its the reaction to the thought which is the problem .maybe 2yrs back your reaction to the thought was not that intense so you could just brush it off and now your reaction is intense so it has a hold on you thought is the same now and then it has no power of its own .see we only feel the reaction when we bring up these thoughts when we are busy we don't bring up these thoughts and check for it .a real problem exists anyway you think about it or not . Something that bothers you only when you bring it up is not a problem it's a reaction so as Jeff rightly says the best method for a reaction not a problem is letting it happen while you go about your business. Hope this helps 
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Hosscat
Should it feel like im 'faking' it so much though? Like, I walk around with this fear and thought in my head all day, and I feel like im just faking that its not true.
Kinda hard to believe you can come all the way back from something like that.
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